U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
