Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
