he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Less talking, more tequila
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
