My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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