I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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