escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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