I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
