I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize