dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
