people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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