I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Randomize
