i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Damn victory sex feels great
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
