i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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