he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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