we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
