just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
