okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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