none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
