I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
