Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
