I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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