he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
