I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
