I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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