Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
