Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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