Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
