Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
