So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
