he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
