I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
