After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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