i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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