mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
