There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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