I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
