Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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