I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
