i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So squirting runs in the family.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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