He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
