She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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