do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
