3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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