3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
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