I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
