Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
