I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
