Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
