how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What a dumb baby whore.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
