I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
