You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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