I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My pussy is not your playground.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
