I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
4 words: hood of his car
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize