I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
