So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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