Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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