You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
