he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
