What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
