i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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