she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
