fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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