What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize