I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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