dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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