too bad you live with your parents still
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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