I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
