mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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