my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im part way to drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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